Sunday, May 1, 2011

Work in Progress

So, I haven't really been writing for the past year - but that is all going to change! I have decided recently to honestly pursue the art of writing. Which has meant taking classes and MAKING myself write. I thought I would go ahead and share just a short first draft of something I've been working on in the past week.



The iPhone flew through the air and hit the brick wall as the clickety-clack of her black stilettos echoed on the linoleum tiles. She strode to where the loathed object now lay and with a smirk on her face, lifted her five inch heel and gave the final killing blow.

Dan sat there in stunned silence as his lover picked up his phone and threw it into his lap.

“There Dan,” She said with steel in her voice, “Date that. You and I are finished.”

And with that she turned to leave the small coffee house. The baristas watched with wide eyes and open mouths.  Patrons tried to look as though they had not just witnessed the spectacle when in fact they were hanging on every word from the troubled couple.  Everyone suddenly seemed very much involved with stirring their coffee and looking at the table intently.

“Wait! Ayla!  Hold on a minute!” Dan was shouting at her from his seat at the round table in the corner. Their table. ‘Not anymore’, She thought. Although he was calling her back he still had not moved; hadn’t even stood up from his seat to come after her. He had to have known that this was coming. This couldn’t be a shock to him.

Ayla stopped at the door and turned to look at Dan. His eyes seemed confused but at the same time he was quite calm. She shook her head and pressed herself against the cold door of glass and walked out into the flurry of snow that was falling on the city.

Ayla took a deep breath and let it out as a ragged but happy sigh. Free at last; why had it taken her so long? Dan and she hadn’t been right for a long time. Too long actually. Ayla smiled as her black heels clicked on the sidewalk. Heels always made her feel prettier, smarter and gave her a sense (perhaps false) that she knew where she was going with her life. And tonight they had been her greatest weapons. Dan hated it when she wore the five inch heel pumps. Not only did they make her taller than him, but he did not find heels attractive. Or so he said. Such a ridiculous excuse for his real reason: that they made her taller than him. Well, that’s what you get for dating a man whose height was 5’8” with shoes on. Ayla shook her head and walked faster to the main street where she could pick up a taxi to her loft across town.  


  1. I'd give this piece a major thumbs up! It's short, but I was definitely hooked from the first couple sentences...good opener!

    I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work popping up on my Blogger Dashboard. ;)

  2. Glad to see you are back...kicking well and alive!... nice short story indeed.... though too short as DAN for me!.... keep up the good work and welcome back to the Blogger Nation....

  3. Thanks guys :) I liked how it turned out, although I really don't know if I'll end up doing more with it - but we'll see!

    I hope to write a lot more from now on! Although I think I'll have a lot more time in July/August :)

  4. you are invited to follow my blog